just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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