time to smoke my breakfast
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
