no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
