I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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