i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
