what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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