just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
