HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
