Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
