you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
