I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize