Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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