I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
