My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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