That's intense
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think i got beer on your cat.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
