I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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