My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
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Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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