I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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