Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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