I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
