Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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