I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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