Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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