yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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