so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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