Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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