He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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