I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
