I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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