i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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