her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
