I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
