I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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