My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
