I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize