my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
