help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
