I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
