what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
