You just made me feel so damn special
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
