Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
