the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
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i've created a new STD.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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