I want to walk on stilts...naked
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
