for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
