what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
