i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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