just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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