when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
