Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
