the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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