i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
