when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
