ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
