Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
