she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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