We won't sleep together?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
