none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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