She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize