I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
So. Much. Porn.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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