so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
