she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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