he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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